Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Why do Americans only speak English?

A U.S. Navy admiral was attending a naval conference that included admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian, and French navies.  At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a group of half dozen or so officers that included personnel from most of the countries.

Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?"


Without hesitating, the American admiral replied, "Maybe it is because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German."


Suddenly the group became very quiet.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

List: Five things wrong with Batting Average

  1. Batting average discounts walks as non-events.
  2. Batting average treats all hits equally.
  3. Batting average counts some fly balls as outs and ignores others entirely.
  4. If you hit a ground ball out to third that moves a runner from first to second, that’s an out in your ledger. If you BUNT a ground ball out to third that moves a runner from first to second, that’s not an out in your ledger.
  5. Sometimes, if you hit a ball and reach base safely that is still an out in your batting average.

List: Ten things to talk about before you get married

Make sure you discuss these things before you get married:

  1. Children
    1. How many (if any)?
  2. Previous debt
    1. Don't unknowingly get yourself into tens of thousands of dollars in debt.
  3. Spending habits
    1. How will the family fortune be spent?
  4. Household expenses
  5. Sex
  6. Religion
  7. Free time
    1. Don't be surprised when he wants to play cards with his friends every Friday.
  8. Chores
    1. Try to determine who does what early.
  9. Decision making
    1. There does not need to be an alpha dog.
  10. Arguments
    1. Try to set some ground rules.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Relationship advice


  1. The best partners are the ones who know and like themselves – well enough not to need the validation of others.
    1. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing people who don’t love you, either.
  2. Couples work through everything by ensuring that they both get what they need. Beware of someone who is only focused on their own interests, at the exclusion of your's.
  3. Cheaters think everyone cheats. Liars think everyone lies.
    1. Never trust anyone that lies to you.
    2. 99% of the time, the person accusing you of doing something is doing it to you right now.
  4. How you resolve your first blowup argument tells you all you need to know about whether they are potential soul-mates or life-wreckers.
    1. When you're wrong, say you're wrong. When you're right, don't say anything.
    2. Not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest. People who care about one another tend to argue sometimes.
  5. Don't chase people. Work hard and be yourself. The right people will find their way into your life.
  6. Don't try to change someone. A commitment held together only by threats and restrictions isn't one at all. Accept someone as-is or leave.
  7. Don't cheat in a relationship. If you are not happy, just break up.

I asked for a building permit - joke


Some have asked what I'm going to be doing in retirement.
Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house.
It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights and windows all over the place and a loud, outside entertainment sound system,
that was going to entertain the whole neighborhood.
It would have parking for 200 cars, and I was going to paint it bog green with pink trim.  

The Council told me; “Forget it...
IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!”  

So, I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a 'Mosque'.  


Work starts on Monday.  


I love this country. It’s the government that scares the devil out of me.


Monday, July 14, 2014

Three solutions to every problem

Three solutions to every problem: 

  1. Accept it
  2. Change it
  3. Leave it


If you can't accept it, change it. If you can't change it, leave it.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

The Meaning of the Flag Draped Coffin


Meaning of Flag Draped Coffin
All Americans should be given this lesson.  Those who think that America is an arrogant nation should really reconsider that thought.  Our founding fathers used GOD's word and teachings to establish our Great Nation and I think it's high time Americans get re-educated about this Nation's history.

Pass it along and be proud of the country we live in and even more proud of those who serve to protect our 'GOD GIVEN' rights and freedoms.
I  hope you take the time to read this ... To understand what the flag draped coffin really means ... Here is how to understand the flag that  laid upon it and is surrendered to so many widows and  widowers.
Do you know that at military funerals, the 21-gun salute stands for the sum of the numbers in the year 1776?
Have you ever noticed the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the United States of America Flag 13 times?  You probably thought it was to symbolize the original 13 colonies, but we learn something new every day!
The 1st fold of the flag is a symbol of life. 
 The 2nd fold is a symbol of the belief in eternal life.
 The 3rd fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing the ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of the country to attain peace throughout the world.
 The 4th fold represents the weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.
 The 5th fold is a tribute to the country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, 'Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.'
 The 6th fold is for where people's hearts lie.  It is with their heart that they pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.
The 7th fold is a tribute to its Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that they protect their country and their flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of their republic.
 The 8th fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day.
 The 9th fold is a tribute to womanhood, and Mothers.  For it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.
The 10th fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of their country since they were first born.
 The 11th fold represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and glorifies in the Hebrews eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
 The 12th fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in the Christians eyes, God the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit.
The 13th fold, or when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding them of their Nations motto, 'In God We Trust.'
 After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the Sailors and Marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for them the rights, privileges and freedoms they enjoy today.
There are some traditions and ways of doing things that have deep meaning.
In the future, you'll see flags folded and now you will know why.
Share this with the children you love and all others who love what is referred to, the symbol of 'Liberty and Freedom.'
MAYBE THE SUPREME COURT SHOULD READ THIS EXPLANATION BEFORE THEY RENDER THEIR DECISION ON THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE.  Send a link to this; MAYBE SOMEONE WITH THE NECESSARY POWER, OR POLITICAL AND FINANCIAL INFLUENCE, WILL GET IT TO THEM.

IN THE MEANTIME, MAY GOD PROTECT US ALWAYS.
ONE NATION, UNDER GOD, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

General McChrystal resignation story


A TRUE STORY ABOUT GEN McChrystal's  resignation in Obama's office, Worth reading from Gen       McChrystal's book! 
  
NEVER STAND IN LINE AGAIN (Gen. Stanley McChrystal)
 
Some men carry and handle their diplomacy better than others........

When former U.S. Military commander in Afghanistan Stanley McChrystal, was called into the Oval Office by Barack Obama, 
he knew things weren't going to go well when the President accused him of not supporting him in his political role as President.
 
"It's not my job to support you as a politician, Mr. President, it's my job to support you as Commander-in-Chief," McChrystal replied, and he handed Obama his resignation.
 
Not satisfied with accepting McChrystal's resignation the President made a cheap parting shot. "I bet when I die you'll be happy to pee on my grave."
 
The General saluted. "Mr. President, I always told myself after leaving the Army I'd never stand in line again."

Secrets of the Secret Service by Ronald Kessler

Secrets of the Secret Service … Very interesting but not surprising. Scroll down to read.
  
What Kessler thinks of the presidents he served… 
 
..And now, you'll know the rest of the story.

Interesting snippets from Ronald Kessler's book about our presidents.


 JOHN & JACQUELINE  KENNEDY
 
*A philanderer of the highest order.
 
*She ordered the kitchen help to save all the left-over wine during a State dinner, mixed it with fresh wine and served again during the next White House occasion.*
 LYNDON & LADYBIRD JOHNSON
 
*Another philanderer of the highest order. In addition, LBJ was as crude as the day is long. Both JFK and LBJ kept a lot of women in the White House for extramarital affairs and both had set up early warning systems to alert them if/when their wives were nearby. Both were promiscuous and oversexed  men. *
 
*She was either naive or just pretended to not know about her husband's many liaisons. *
 RICHARD & PAT  NIXON
 
*A "moral" man but very odd, weird, paranoid. He had a horrible relationship with his family and was almost a recluse.*
 
*She was quiet most of the time.*
SPIRO AGNEW
 
*Nice, decent man. Everyone in the Secret Service was surprised by his downfall.*
 GERALD & BETTY  FORD

*A true gentlemen who treated the Secret Service with respect and dignity. He had a great sense of humor.*


*She drank a lot!*
 JIMMY & ROSALYN  CARTER
 
*A complete phony who would portray one picture of himself to public and very different in private e.g. would be shown carrying his own luggage but the suitcases were always empty. He kept empty ones just for photo ops. He wanted people to see him as pious and a non-drinker but he and his family drank alcohol a lot! He had disdain for the Secret Service and was very irresponsible with the "football" with nuclear codes. He didn't think it was a big deal and would keep military aides at a great distance. Often did not acknowledge the presence of Secret Service personnel assigned to serve him.*
 
*She mostly did her own thing.*
 RONALD & NANCY  REAGAN
 
*The real deal, moral, honest, respectful and dignified. They treated Secret Service and everyone else with respect and honor, thanked everyone all the time. He took the time to know everyone on a personal level. One favorite story was early in his Presidency when he came out of his room with a pistol tucked on his hip. The agent in charge asked: "Why the pistol, Mr. President?" He replied, "In case you boys can't get the job done, I can help." It was common for him to carry a pistol. When he met with Gorbachev, he had a  pistol in his briefcase.*
 
*She was very nice but very protective of the President and the Secret Service was often caught in the middle. She tried hard to control what he ate. He would say to the agent, "Come on, you gotta help me out." The Reagans drank wine during State dinners and special occasions only otherwise they shunned alcohol.  The Secret Service could count on one hand the times they were served wine during family dinner. For all the fake bluster of the Carters, the Reagans were the ones who lived life as genuinely moral  people.*
 GEORGE H. & BARBARA  BUSH
 
*Extremely kind and considerate, always respectful. Took great care in making sure the agents' comforts were taken care of. They even brought them meals. One time she brought warm clothes to agents standing outside at Kennebunkport. One was given a warm hat and, when he tried to say "no thanks" even though he was obviously freezing, the President said "Son, don't argue with the First Lady. Put the hat on." He was the most prompt of the Presidents. He ran the White House like a well-oiled machine.*


*She ruled the house and spoke her mind.*
 BILL & HILLARY  CLINTON
 
*Presidency was one giant party.  Not trustworthy. He was nice mainly because he wanted everyone to like him but to him life is just one big game and party. Everyone knows about his sexuality.*
 
*She is another phony. Her personality would change the instant cameras were near. She hated with open disdain the military and Secret Service. She was another who felt people were there to serve her. She was always trying to keep tabs on Bill Clinton.*
 ALBERT GORE
 
*An egotistical ass who was once overheard by his Secret Service detail lecturing his son that he needed to do better in school or he would end up like these guys, pointing to the agents.*
 GEORGE W. & LAURA  BUSH
 
*The Secret Service loved him and Laura Bush. He was also the most physically in shape who had a very strict workout regimen. The Bushes made sure their entire administrative and household staff understood that they were to respect and be considerate of the Secret Service.*
 
*She was one of the nicest First Ladies, if not the nicest. She never had any harsh word to say about anyone.*
 BARACK & MICHELLE  OBAMA
 
*Clinton all over again - hates the military and looks down on the Secret Service. He is egotistical and cunning. He looks you in the eye and appears to agree with you but turns around and does the opposite. He has temper tantrums.*

*She is a complete bitch who basically hates anybody who is not black, hates the military and looks at the Secret Service as servants.*

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Railroad history

Does the statement, "We've always done it like that" ring any bells?  Read this to the end; this is a new one for me. 


The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.

That's an exceedingly odd number.  Why was that gauge used?

Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.


Why did the English build them like that?

Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did "they" use that gauge then?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. 

Okay!   Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?

Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads?



Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.


And the ruts in the roads?



Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot And bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses!


Now, the twist to the story 


When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.
The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the  SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains.

The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.



The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track,
as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.


So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.


- And -
you thought being a HORSE'S ASS wasn't important!