Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Last will joke


Last Will:
    Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed.  He is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them: "Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses." "Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza." "Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in Century City." "Sarah, my dear wife, you take all the residential buildings downtown"


The nurse was listening to all this, and as Morris passes away, she said to his wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been
such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property." 

She replies, "Property shmoperty  The schmuck had a newspaper route."

Obamacare stamp - joke


Thursday, October 17, 2013

Crop art - Rice-paddy art...amazing pictures

 Looks ordinary enough....... but watch as the rice grows!!!!!!






Stunning crop art has sprung up across rice fields in Japan , but this is no alien creation. The designs have been cleverly PLANTED! Farmers creating the huge displays use no ink or dye. Instead, different color rice plants have been precisely and strategically arranged and grown in the paddy fields. As summer progresses and the plants shoot up, the detailed artwork begins to emerge.


 A Sengoku warrior on horseback has been created from hundreds of thousands of rice plants. The colors are created by using different varieties of rice plants, whose leaves grow in certain colors’. This photo was taken in Inakadate , Japan .
 Napoleon on horseback can be seen from the skies. This was created by precision planting and months of planning by villagers and farmers located in Ink date, Japan .
 Fictional warrior Nape Kanetsugu and his wife, Osen, whose lives are featured on the television series'Tenchijin' appear in fields in the town of
Yonezawa in the Yamagata prefecture of Japan ...

This year, various artwork has popped up in other rice-farming areas of Japan , including designs of deer dancers. Smaller works of 'crop-art' can be seen in other rice-farming areas of Japan such as this image of Doraemon and deer dancers.
The farmers create the murals by planting little purple and yellow-leafed Kodaimai rice along with their local green-leafed Tsugaru, a Roman variety, to create the colored patterns in the time between planting and harvesting in September.
The murals in Inakadate cover 15,000 square meters of paddy fields.

From ground level, the designs are invisible, and viewers have to climb the mock castle tower of the village office to get a glimpse of the work.
Closer to the image, the careful placement of the thousands of rice plants in the paddy fields can be seen. Rice-paddy art was started there in 1993 as a local revitalization project, an idea that grew from meetings of the village committees. The different varieties of rice plants grow alongside each other to create the masterpieces. In the first nine years, the village office workers and local farmers grew a simple design of Mount Iwaki every year. But their ideas grew more complicated and attracted more attention. In 2005, agreements between landowners allowed the creation of enormous rice paddy art. A year later, organizers used computers to precisely plot the planting of four differently colored rice varieties that bring the images to life!
TRULY A WORK OF ART!!
 

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Jeff Foxworthy - A Country Founded by Geniuses but Run by Idiots

If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  If the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  If, in the nation’s largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  If an 80-year-old woman or a three-year-old girl who is confined to a wheelchair can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is “cute,” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion, while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  If the government’s plan for getting people back to work is to provide incentives for not working, by granting 99 weeks of unemployment checks, without any requirement to prove that gainful employment was diligently sought, but couldn’t be found — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, time shares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  If being stripped of your Constitutional right to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

  What a country!

How about we give God a reason to continue blessing America!

Pictures - Good advice




Thursday, October 10, 2013

Congress joke


One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. 
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. 
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.
Then, a member of Congress came in for a haircut. When he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The member of Congress was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen members of Congress lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it!

How to hold on and not fall on the bus!


Everyone needs at least one good piece of advice per day!!
How to hold on and not fall on the bus!  
This is known as a "pole clamp" but is not available at your local hardware store. 
It has to be homemade, developed and tested.
Remember to use a Hand Sanitizer when holding.  

All this fuss about keeping their head covered.....

Nuff said!! 






Thursday, October 3, 2013

Paul Brown - Bill Belichick says Brown is the father of the NFL

Coach Bill Belichick says that Browns and Bengals coach Paul Brown is the "father of this game".

As far as Belichick's concerned, the same offense the rest of the football universe knows as the West Coast scheme, deserves a different name. 

"The West Coast offense should really be the Ohio River offense because it's Paul Brown's offense that [Bill] Walsh took out of there," Belichick said, referencing Walsh's 1980s San Francisco 49ers teams that won three Super Bowls. 

"The more you read about Paul Brown, the more you look at what he did, he truly is the father of this game," Belichick said. "He was so ahead of his time in all the organizational things, a lot of the schematic things. The preparation that we do, it's all very, very similar to what he did half a century ago, or maybe longer ago. The more I know about Paul Brown, the more impressed I am with him."

"The possession passing game and the balance he brought to the offense. It really was when he went to Cincinnati that you saw that you can pass the ball five or six yards and that's a good play that moves the chains and keeps the down and distance in your favor. Passes don't have to be 15 to 18 yards down the field where it's either a big gain or an incomplete pass. Then you had a lot of second-and-10s. He was able to use his backs in the passing game, which is such a trademark of the West Coast offense. 

"And using the tight ends on the short intermediate routes, too. Like I said, not always the 12- to 15-yard routes, but being able to get them the ball. The whole catch-and-run principles. We're in those drive routes, those underneath crossing routes. It's a 2- or 3-yard pass, but you get the ball in the hands of a good player and they can make 15 out it. The possession timing passing game and the utilization of the backs and tight ends, as well as the receivers in the passing game. Being able to attack all areas of the field, the width of the field, the inside part of the field, the deep part of the field, plus in conjunction with the running game, the balance that he had offensively was again so far ahead of it's time. Even going back to Cleveland, you saw a lot of that back in that day, even with the toss sweeps that they used to run, as well as the inside running game, they did a good job of getting the ball down the field, as well. It was expanded to a different level, certainly one that's more familiar to the current NFL was when he went to Cincinnati in the late-60s and implemented what's now the West Coast offense, but to me is Paul Brown's offense."

Read the rest here.