Saturday, July 26, 2014

Five things wrong with Batting Average

  1. Batting average discounts walks as non-events.
  2. Batting average treats all hits equally.
  3. Batting average counts some fly balls as outs and ignores others entirely.
  4. If you hit a ground ball out to third that moves a runner from first to second, that’s an out in your ledger. If you BUNT a ground ball out to third that moves a runner from first to second, that’s not an out in your ledger.
  5. Sometimes, if you hit a ball and reach base safely that is still an out in your batting average.

Ten things to talk about before you get married

Make sure you discuss these things before you get married:

  1. Children
    1. How many (if any)?
  2. Previous debt
    1. Don't unknowingly get yourself into tens of thousands of dollars in debt.
  3. Spending habits
    1. How will the family fortune be spent?
  4. Household expenses
  5. Sex
  6. Religion
  7. Free time
    1. Don't be surprised when he wants to play cards with his friends every Friday.
  8. Chores
    1. Try to determine who does what early.
  9. Decision making
    1. There does not need to be an alpha dog.
  10. Arguments
    1. Try to set some ground rules.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Relationship advice

  1. The best partners are the ones who know and like themselves – well enough not to need the validation of others.
  2. Infatuation is when you find someone who is absolutely perfect. Love is when you realize that they aren't and it doesn't matter.
  3. Cheaters think everyone cheats. Liars think everyone lies.
  4. Never trust anyone that lies to you.
  5. 99% of the time, the person accusing you of doing something is doing it to you right now.
  6. How you resolve your first blowup argument tells you all you need to know about whether they are potential soul-mates or life-wreckers.
  7. When you're wrong, say you're wrong. When you're right, don't say anything.

I asked for a building permit - joke


Some have asked what I'm going to be doing in retirement.
Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house.
It was going to be 100 ft tall and 400 ft wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights and windows all over the place and a loud, outside entertainment sound system,
that was going to entertain the whole neighborhood.
It would have parking for 200 cars, and I was going to paint it bog green with pink trim.  

The Council told me; “Forget it...
IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!”  

So, I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a 'Mosque'.  


Work starts on Monday.  


I love this country. It’s the government that scares the devil out of me.


Monday, July 14, 2014

Three solutions to every problem

Three solutions to every problem: 

  1. Accept it
  2. Change it
  3. Leave it


If you can't accept it, change it. If you can't change it, leave it.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

The Meaning of the Flag Draped Coffin


Meaning of Flag Draped Coffin
All Americans should be given this lesson.  Those who think that America is an arrogant nation should really reconsider that thought.  Our founding fathers used GOD's word and teachings to establish our Great Nation and I think it's high time Americans get re-educated about this Nation's history.

 
Pass it along and be proud of the country we live in and even more proud of those who serve to protect our 'GOD GIVEN' rights and freedoms.
I  hope you take the time to read this ... To understand what the flag draped coffin really means ... Here is how to understand the flag that  laid upon it and is surrendered to so many widows and  widowers.
Do you know that at military funerals, the 21-gun salute stands for the sum of the numbers in the year 1776?
Have you ever noticed the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the United States of America Flag 13 times?  You probably thought it was to symbolize the original 13 colonies, but we learn something new every day!
The 1st fold of the flag is a symbol of life. 
 The 2nd fold is a symbol of the belief in eternal life.
 The 3rd fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing the ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of the country to attain peace throughout the world.
 The 4th fold represents the weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.
 The 5th fold is a tribute to the country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, 'Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.'
 The 6th fold is for where people's hearts lie.  It is with their heart that they pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.
The 7th fold is a tribute to its Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that they protect their country and their flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of their republic.
 The 8th fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day.
 The 9th fold is a tribute to womanhood, and Mothers.  For it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.
The 10th fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of their country since they were first born.
 The 11th fold represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and glorifies in the Hebrews eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
 The 12th fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in the Christians eyes, God the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit.
The 13th fold, or when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding them of their Nations motto, 'In God We Trust.'
 After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the Sailors and Marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for them the rights, privileges and freedoms they enjoy today.
There are some traditions and ways of doing things that have deep meaning.
In the future, you'll see flags folded and now you will know why.
Share this with the children you love and all others who love what is referred to, the symbol of 'Liberty and Freedom.'
MAYBE THE SUPREME COURT SHOULD READ THIS EXPLANATION BEFORE THEY RENDER THEIR DECISION ON THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE.  Send a link to this; MAYBE SOMEONE WITH THE NECESSARY POWER, OR POLITICAL AND FINANCIAL INFLUENCE, WILL GET IT TO THEM.

IN THE MEANTIME, MAY GOD PROTECT US ALWAYS.
ONE NATION, UNDER GOD, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.