Monday, November 24, 2014

Pictures: Funny Winter pics















Friday, November 14, 2014

Arlington cemetery facts


ARLINGTON CEMETERY

Jeopardy
Question: 


On
Jeopardy the other night, the final question was
"How many steps does the guard take during his
walk across the tomb of the Unknowns?"
All three contestants missed it! 



1.
How many steps does the guard take during his
walk across the tomb of the Unknowns
and why?


21 steps

It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute which is the highest honor given any military or  foreign dignitary. 


2.
How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?



21
seconds for the same reason as answer number 1

3.
Why are his gloves wet?


His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

4.
Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and
if not, why not?

He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path,
he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder


5.
How often are the guards changed?



Guards
are changed every thirty minutes,
twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a
year.


6.
What are the physical traits of the guard limited to? 


For aperson to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10' and 6' 2' tall and
his waist size cannot exceed 30.

They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot
drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the
rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform or the tomb in any way.


After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they
served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey
these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet.
There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as
they come to a halt.

There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length
mirror.

The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery .
A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are:

President Taft, Joe Lewis {the boxer} Medal of Honor winner Audie L. Murphy, the most
decorated soldier of WWII and of Hollywood fame.
Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.. 

ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.


In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC , our US Senate/House took 2 days
off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of
the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb
of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They
respectfully declined the offer, 
"No way, Sir!" Soaked to the skin,
marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that
guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be
afforded to a service person. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.

God
Bless and keep them.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Joke: hunting on Sunday

Hunting on Sunday 

I  had  everything  planned  and  had  told  my  wife I would not be going to church with her on Sunday.

My  wife  reminded  me  that  Sunday  was  the Sabbath  Day  and  hunting  a  trophy buck should not   be   part   of   the   Sabbath.
   
   I  scouted  the  area  all  summer.
    
   I searched out the best location for my tree-stand.

   I set  it  all  up  a  month  ahead  of  time.

   I  trailed   the   herd.

   I  picked  out  a  trophy  buck.

  Two  days  before opening  day  I  rechecked
    every  aspect  of  the  hunt.

  Everything    was    in    place.
  
Sunday  morning,  I  woke  up  at  2  am.
    
   I  put  on  my  camo,  loaded  my pack,

     set  out  for  my  stand.

  This  was  destined  to  be  an  epic  hunt.

   As  I  approached  my  deer  stand........ 


I  called  my wife  and  told  her  I  had  decided  not  to hunt  on  the  Sabbath  and  would  meet her  at church.

The   Sunday   sermon   was   entitled .........................

"The   Lord   Works   In  Mysterious   Ways".

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Joke: Italian boy's confession

ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION 

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." 

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?" 

"Yes, Father, it is." 


"And who was the woman you were with?" 


"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." 


"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may  as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 

"I cannot say." 


"Was it Teresa Volpe?" 

"I'll never tell." 


"Was it Nina Capelli?" 


"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." 

"Was it Cathy Piriano?" 


"My lips are sealed." 


"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?" 

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you." 


The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Johnny  Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself." 

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" 

"Four months vacation and five good leads."

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Joke: Election day



Politics As Usual

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren, very hot land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. Smoke filters through a suspicious crack in the ground....

The devil, now complete with horns & wings, comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."

Monday, October 27, 2014

Jokes: Marriage joke



40 years
Of marriage.. 


A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their
40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic
Little restaurant.
 

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.

She said, 'For being such an exemplary married
Couple and for being loving to each other for
All this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world
With my darling husband.'
 

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two
Tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her
Hands.

The husband thought for a moment:
'Well, this is all very romantic, but an
Opportunity like this will never come again. I'm
Sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30
Years younger than me.'
 

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed,
But a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and
Poof!...
 

The husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: 

Men who are ungrateful jerks should
Remember fairies are female
......