Monday, November 30, 2015

The Magic Bank Account

THE MAGIC BANK ACCOUNT

THE AUTHOR IS NOT KNOWN.  THIS WAS FOUND IN THE BILLFOLD OF COACH PAUL BEAR BRYANT, ALABAMA, AFTER HE DIED IN 1982.

~The Magic Bank Account~
Imagine that you had won the following
 in a contest: Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400 in your private account for your use.  However, this prize has rules:
The set of rules:

  1. Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.
  2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
  3. You may only spend it.
  4. Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another  $86,400 for that day.
  5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say, Game Over!"  It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.


What would you personally do?

You would buy anything and everything you wanted right?  Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for. Even for people you don't know, because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?

ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL ...

Shocked ??? 

YES!

Each of us is already a winner of this PRIZE. We just can't seem to see it. The PRIZE is TIME!!

  1. Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life.
  2. And when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is Not credited to us.
  3. What we haven't used up that day is forever lost.
  4. Yesterday is forever gone.
  5. Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING...

SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?

Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars.  Think about it and remember to enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!

Here's wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day.  Start spending..

"DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT GROWING OLD…!"

SOME PEOPLE DON'T GET THE PRIVILEGE!

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Thanksgiving - Pregnant turkey joke


Pregnant turkey 

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, inserted it into the
turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey.

She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

, Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE 

Thanksgiving cartoons

 





Happy Thanksgiving - Dog and cat


Twas the night of Thanksgiving

TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING,
BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP.
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS,
I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.

THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED -
THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE,
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION
WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT.

TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION,
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR,
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.

I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY,
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....
HAPPY EATING TO ALL - PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.




MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY,
MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP.
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS.
MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS!!

HAPPY   THANKSGIVING   TO  ALL!


Monday, November 23, 2015

Communist Rules for Revolution

This is almost a perfect description indication of what's happening . . .. only not in Germany in our USA.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Soldier’s Prayer



Soldier’s Prayer
Dear Lord, I’m just a soldier
A protector of our land.
I ask for courage.
Courage to face and conquer my own fears…
Courage to take me where others will not go.

I ask for strength…
Strength of body to protect others..
Strength of spirit to lead others.

I ask for dedication...
Dedication to my job, to do it well without hesitation…
Dedication to my country, my community, my family…
Dedication to keep them safe.

Give me, Lord, concern…
For those who trust me and compassion for those who need me,
Please Lord.. command my footsteps and journey.
As I walk through the valley of death I shall fear no evil,
I know you are with me.

Amen

Veterans Day history - Kate Smith sings God Bless America


Frank Sinatra considered Kate Smith the best singer of her time, and said that when he and a million other guys first heard her sing "God Bless America" on the radio, they all pretended to have dust in their eyes as they wiped away a tear or two.

Here are the facts... The YouTube video shows the very first public singing of "GOD BLESS AMERICA". But before you watch it, you should also know the story behind the first public showing of the song.

The time was 1940. America was still in a terrible economic depression. Hitler was taking over Europe and Americans were afraid we'd have to go to war. It was a time of hardship and worry for most Americans.
This was the era just before TV, when radio shows were HUGE, and American families sat around their radios in the evenings, listening to their favorite entertainers, and no entertainer of that era was bigger than Kate Smith.

Kate was also large; plus size, as we now say, and the popular phrase still used today is in deference to her, "It ain't over till the fat lady sings". Kate Smith might not have made it big in the age of TV, but with her voice coming over the radio, she was the biggest star of her time.

Kate was also patriotic. It hurt her to see Americans so depressed and afraid of what the next day would bring . She had hope for America , and faith in her fellow Americans. She wanted to do something to cheer them up, so she went to the famous American song-writer, Irving Berlin (who also wrote "White Christmas") and asked him to write a song that would make Americans feel good again about their country. When she described what she was looking for, he said he had just the song for her.

He went to his files and found a song that he had written, but never published, 22 years before - way back in 1917. He gave it to her and she worked on it with her studio orchestra. She and Irving Berlin were not sure how the song would be received by the public, but both agreed they would not take any profits from God Bless America. Any profits would go to the Boy Scouts of America. Over the years, the Boy Scouts have received millions of dollars in royalties from this song. 

This video starts out with Kate Smith coming into the radio studio with the orchestra and an audience. She introduces the new song for the very first time, and starts singing. After the first couple verses, with her voice in the background still singing, scenes are shown from the 1940 movie, "You're In The Army Now." At the 4:20 mark of the video you see a young actor in the movie, sitting in an office, reading a paper; it's Ronald Reagan.

To this day, God Bless America stirs our patriotic feelings and pride in our country. Back in 1940, when Kate Smith went looking for a song to raise the spirits of her fellow Americans, I doubt whether she realized just how successful the results would be for her fellow Americans during those years of hardship and worry..... and for many generations of Americans to follow.
Now that you know the story of the song, I hope you'll enjoy it and treasure it even more. 

Many people don't know there's a lead in to the song since it usually starts with "God Bless America ....." So here's the entire song as originally sung..... ENJOY!



Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Immigration joke


A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the  United States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and  says, 'Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country , giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!'

The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.'

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. ' Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America !'

The person says,  'I not American, I Vietnamese.'

The new arrival walks further, and  the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank  you for the wonderful America!' That person puts up his hand and  says, 'I am from Middle East , I am not American!'

He finally sees a  nice lady and asks, 'Are you an American?'

 She says, 'No, I am from  Africa !'

Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Americans?'

The  African lady checks her watch and says...'Probably at work!!!!!!!

Monday, November 9, 2015

You Decide

"You are the person that has to decide
Whether you’ll do it or toss it aside.

You are the one who makes up your mind
Whether you’ll lead or linger behind—

Whether you’ll try for the goal that’s far,
Or be contented to stay where you are.

Take it, or leave it. Here’s something to do,
Just think it over. It’s all up to you!

What do you wish? To be known as a shirk,
Known as a good person who’s willing to work,

Scorned for a loafer or praised by your boss,
Rich or poor, beggar or thief?

Eager or earnest or dull through the day,
Honest or crooked? It’s you who must say!

You must decide in the face of the test
Whether you’ll shirk it or give it your best."


Guidewords:

An Anthology of Inspiration and Humor, p. 69

Monday, November 2, 2015

Bengals vs. Browns memes






Gandhi shoe story

As Gandhi stepped aboard a train one day, one of his shoes slipped off and landed on the track. He was unable to retrieve it as the train was moving.
To the amazement of his companions, Gandhi calmly took off his other shoe and threw it back along the track to land close to the first.
Asked by a fellow passenger why he did so, Gandhi smiled. "The poor man who finds the shoes lying on the track," he replied, "will now have a pair he can use."