Red Skelton's tips on marriage Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary? "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake." She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. She ran after the garbage truck,...