Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Jokes about men

MEN!!!! 
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room,
 
he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the
washing machine?'
  

'It depends,' I replied.
   'What does it say on your shirt?' 

He yelled back, ' DALLAS COWBOYS'!

And they say blondes are dumb....
 

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world..'
  
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you........
 

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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
  
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
  
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Dear Lord,
  
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
 Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.  
AMEN
  
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
  
A: They are practicing to be men.
  
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy..
  
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Q:  What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
  
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
  
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Q: Why do men whistle when they
 are sitting on the toilet?  
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe...
  
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
  
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
  
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