Quotes - Slightly modified

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The “LAST” thing I want to do is hurt you. (But it's still on my list).

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people “appear” bright until… you hear them speak!

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is “research”.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was “blaming” you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify: ________', I put 'DOCTOR'.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and “still” think they are “sexy”.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive; now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a “car”. (My personal favorite)

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but now it's getting harder and harder for me to find one.