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Ted: 10+ Things I Learned Watching Ted with Mark Wahlberg



  1. If called upon, Tom Brady could save the world.
  2. Homosexuals like turkey burgers.
  3. Thunder is just God's farts.
  4. Channing Tatum's index finger can be the topic of girl talk.
  5. Women cannot distinguish between the Darth Vader theme and a song from the Notebook.
  6. Surprisingly, insulting and talking dirty to the job interviewer can land you the job.
  7. Having sex instead of working can lead to a promotion.
  8. To party like it was the 80s, you just gotta nail a lot of girls named Stephanie.
  9. Don't trust someone on drugs with a knife.
  10. A real duck could totally beat up a stuffed bear.
  11. However, the stuffed bear can totally beat up a 35-year old human man.
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Comments

  1. UnknownNovember 8, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    LOL. You forgot "wishing on shooting stars really DOES work"!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 13, 2012 at 12:27 PM

    Fuck you, Jared. We don't need your bullshit spam on this blog. Everyone knows you work at the shooting star factory.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousDecember 8, 2012 at 11:28 AM

    Hi guys. fuck you all, i hope your whore mothers die of anal cancer. That is all. Bye

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousDecember 25, 2012 at 2:18 PM

    it's ok, if i get raped it'll be my fault for what i'm whering... oh and Fuck you, Jared.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousDecember 25, 2012 at 2:24 PM

    it's ok, if i get raped it'll be my fault for what i'm wearing... oh and Fuck you, Jared

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousMarch 20, 2013 at 9:33 PM

    Wooohooo! Everyone gets to Fuck jared! Anonymous 1 you rock, I love it when whore mothers die of anal cancer and anonymous 2 you're obviously a street walking whore, how much for a night? oh yeah and FUCK YOU JARED!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMarch 20, 2013 at 9:37 PM

    ^I'm Valentino Rossi and I approve this message

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousJune 1, 2013 at 2:34 AM

    Jared I hope you die of lou Gehrig's disease, and I fucked youre mother in the ass and I found her tumor

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousSeptember 14, 2013 at 9:29 AM

    poor jared...SIKE, Fuck You jared!

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousSeptember 22, 2013 at 8:07 PM

    Fuck you Jared! And Fuck you too, Thunder!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousNovember 9, 2013 at 6:17 AM

    fuck you anonymous you mothers sucks cock in hell

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousNovember 16, 2013 at 11:03 PM

    y'all have serious issues.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousJanuary 15, 2015 at 10:35 PM

    So u can fuck them but not get them drunk right?

    ReplyDelete
  14. UnknownDecember 28, 2015 at 1:26 PM

    Fuck you jared!

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousMay 8, 2018 at 3:00 PM

    hey jared fuck you five years later

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousApril 6, 2021 at 9:14 PM

    Hey Jared fuck you 9 years later!

    ReplyDelete

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