Crazy, Stupid, Love: 30 Things I learned from watching Crazy, Stupid, Love with Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling

1. If you want to divorce your husband, tell him at a restaurant instead of a private setting.
2. Conan O'Brian looks like a carrot.
3. If you think Conan O'Brien is sexy, your life may be PG-13.
4. Cuckold is a word that is not used much anymore.
5. 13 is not too old for a babysitter.
6. Some 13 year olds actually spend a lot of time pondering their soul mates.
7. The late Steve Jobs is the only one with the right to wear New Balance sneakers. New Balance sneakers are not appropriate while "picking up chicks"
8. The skin under the eyes can resemble the ball sack of one Hugh Hefner
9. When you want a woman to have sex with you, just say "Let's get outta here" to her and then close the deal.
10. Men won the war of the sexes when women started doing pole dancing for exercise.
11. All any of us can do is play our strength.
12. To pick up women, don't talk about yourself.
13. Don't drink watered down drinks from a straw.
14. If you're in love with a girl, putting her scarlett red initial on your chest will not make her love you back.
15. If a man is nervous when trying to have sex, sometimes the woman will go downtown for 45 minutes.
16. There are bars that are loaded with hot ladies who are ready to have sex after buying them a drink.
17. A middle aged, strange, weird, and unattractive man in his 40s can sleep with 9 women from one bar in less than a month.
18. Women can cheat on their husband as long as they are "boring" and it will be all his fault.
19. It is ok for a woman to cheat on her husband with a co-worker but when he has sex with 9 women to try to get over her despicable act, he is the bad guy.
20. Few people use the term "bang" anymore.
21. If you're going to fight, keep it inside...keep it in the family.
22. If your daughter dates your mentor who you think is a lowlife, you should tell her to end it.
23. The A in the Scarlet Letter doesn't stand for what everyone thinks it does.
24. We should strive to be better than The Gap.
25. When ending a friendship with someone, cologne makes a lovely parting gift.
26. Reenacting the jump scene from Dirty Dancing will make any girl sleep with you.
27. When your boyfriend doesn't propose like you had hoped, it is okay to ditch him and go home with a stranger.
28. $5000 massage chairs from Brookstone are not worth the money.
29. Soul mates do exist, but they forget sometimes and cheat.
30. Bartenders might spit in your drink if you tick them off.