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Bridesmaides - 15 Things I learned watching Bridesmaides with Kristen Wiig

  1. Asking a girl to leave after sex might make you look like a dick.
  2. You cannot trust anybody ever...especially if you're in a relationship with them.
  3. Jewelers show a "love is eternal face" to move product.
  4. Frozen peas will heal tattoo infections but they should stay in the bag.
  5. When they get to a certain age, boys are disgusting, they smell, are sticky, and leave semen all over the place.
  6. If you're in the U.S. on a tourist visa, you can't work. You are only allowed to tour.
  7. If you are on a plane and notice someone with no luggage, they might be an Air Marshall.
  8. Air Marshalls are known to carry their guns between their butt cheeks.
  9. If you ask a woman to bake anything (especially if she used to own a bakery), she will think you are trying to fix her.
  10. Calling a teenaged customer the C word will get you fired.
  11. Some people will buy an 18-wheeler just for the heck of it.
  12. Getting your a**hole bleached is great.
  13. Being the maid of honor can be very stressful.
  14. Simply because a wedding dress came from France does not mean it will be good.
  15. Bridesmaids is really about a woman going through a breakdown disguised as a chick party movie.
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