Saturday, July 9, 2011

Bad Teacher: 15 Things I learned from watching Bad Teacher with Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz
  1. Professional basketball players wear condoms to prevent pregnancy then take the condoms with them so the women don't impregnate themselves with it.
  2. If you are a woman with small breasts, bigger boobs might help land a man to take care of you. Big boobs are the key.
  3. Movies are the new books.
  4. Dolphins are the humans of the sea.
  5. Later we'll all die said the gator to the fly.
  6. Jews are known to say "Thats my shpiel."
  7. Saying you want to run for president will get you punched.
  8. To settle an argument about whether Michael Jordan is better than LeBron James, you only need to mention the six titles Jordan won. Using this logic, Bill Russell is the greatest of all time.
  9. If you say the word "hate" on Christmas, you should apologize to Santa and Jesus.
  10. A kid that wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt three days a week isn't getting laid until he is 29.
  11. The textbook method to pick up a dude who is talking to another dude is to talk to one guy, then switch to the other, then switch back while still touching the second one.
  12. Justin Timberlake SINGS!!! YAY!!! He dry humps the bad teacher, too. Ewww!!!
  13. Ethiopian restaurants are a sign of progress.
  14. Abe Lincoln was known as the rail splitter when he was a boy in Springfield.
  15. Always take compromising photos of someone who has some dirt on you...just in case.
On a related note, Cameron discusses pubic hair in The Body Book.

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