Beanie Books

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU. The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving  what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant...then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.  The doctor...

Notice Social Security  and the military are NOT on this list. These are all the programs that the new Republican House has proposed cutting. Read to the end. Corporation for Public Broadcasting Subsidy -- $445 million annual savings. Save America 's Treasures Program -- $25 million annual savings. International Fund for Ireland -- $17 million annual savings. Legal Services Corporation -- $420 million annual savings. National Endowment for the Arts -- $167.5 million annual savings. National Endowment for the Humanities -- $167.5 million annual savings. Hope VI Program -- $250 million annual savings. Amtrak Subsidies -- $1.565 billion annual savings. Eliminate duplicating education programs -- H.R.  2274 (in last Congress), authored by Rep.  McKeon , eliminates 68 at a savings of $1.3 billion annually. U.S.  Trade Development Agency -- $55 million annual savings. Woodrow Wilson Center Subsidy -- $20 million annual savings. Cut in half funding for congr...

"My Old Kentucky Home"   History Lesson on Kentucky   For those of you who live in Kentucky you might find this interesting. And for hose of you who don't, YOU might also find this interesting.        Today's history lesson!    1792 - Kentucky was the first state on the western frontier to join the Union    1816 - (first promoted) Mammoth Cave, with 336+ miles of mapped passages, is he world's longest cave. It is 379 feet deep and contains at least 5 levels of passages. It's second only to Niagara Falls as the most popular tourist attraction in the US. It became a National Park on July 1, 1941.    1856 - The first enamel bathtub was made in Louisville    1883 - The first electric light bulb was shown in Louisville. Thomas Alva Edison introduced his invention to crowds at the Southern Exposition.    1887 - Mother's Day was first observed in Henderson by teacher Mary S. Wilson. It became a ...

For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930's and '40's.  Before there were interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields. They were small red signs with white letters.  Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet......and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream. Here are more of the actual signs: DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW OUT SO FAR IT MAY GO HOME IN ANOTHER CAR. BURMA SHAVE TRAINS DON'T WANDER ALL OVER THE MAP 'CAUSE NOBODY SITS IN THE ENGINEER'S LAP Burma Shave SHE  KISSED THE HAIRBRUSH BY MISTAKE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS HER HUSBAND JAKE Burma Shave DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD TO GAIN A  MINUTE YOU NEED YOUR HEAD YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT Burma  Shave DROVE TOO LONG DRIVER SNOOZING WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS NOT AMUSING Burma Shave BROTHER SPEEDER LET...

A U.S. Navy admiral was attending a naval conference that included a dmirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian, and French  navies.  At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a  group of half dozen or so officers that included personnel from most of  the countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a  French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many  languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, "Why is it that w e always have to speak English in these conferences rather than  speaking French?" Without hesitating, the American admiral replied, "Maybe it is because  the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you  wouldn't have to speak German." Suddenly the group became very quiet.

Batting average discounts walks as non-events. Batting average treats all hits equally. Batting average counts some fly balls as outs and ignores others entirely. If you hit a ground ball out to third that moves a runner from first to second, that’s an out in your ledger. If you BUNT a ground ball out to third that moves a runner from first to second, that’s not an out in your ledger. Sometimes, if you hit a ball and reach base safely that is still an out in your batting average.