Beanie Books

You should click here for a great redneck joke .

Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!  Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?." Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500." After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, John confirms that he is interested. She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 PM Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 PM sharp and after payi...

FIRST. do you know what ANWR is? ANWR = Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. .. Now.  A comparison And some perspective. NOTE WHERE THE PROPOSED DEVELOPMENT AREA IS. (it's in the "ANWR Coastal Plain") THIS IS WHAT THE DEMOCRATS, LIBERALS AND "GREENS" SHOW YOU WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT ANWR .and they are right. these ARE photographs of ANWR ISN'T ANWR BEAUTIFUL?  WHY SHOULD WE DRILL HERE (AND DESTROY) THIS BEAUTIFUL PLACE? WELL. THAT'S NOT EXACTLY THE TRUTH Do you remember the map? The map showed that the proposed drilling area is in the ANWR Coastal Plain Do those photographs look like a coastal plain to you? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? . THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE. THAT IS  NOT  WHERE THEY ARE WANTING TO DRILL! THIS IS WHAT THE PROPOSED EXPLORATION AREA  ACTUALLY  LOOKS LIKE IN THE WINTER AND THIS IS WHAT IT  ACTUALLY  LOOKS LIKE IN THE SUMMER HERE ARE A COUPLE SCREEN SHOTS FROM GOOGLE EARTH ...

You should now click here to read about the difference between winners and losers.

Be sure to click here to see a picture of some dude who caught a Easter Diamond Rattlesnake!

Click here for more animal trivia .

  H.L. Mencken (born 1880 - died 1956) was a journalist, satirist, critic and registered Democrat. Mencken wrote the editorial below while working for the  Baltimore Evening Sun : As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people.   On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will   be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.                                  -H.L.  Mencken, the Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920 So it was written, and so it has come to pass... Want more quotes? Just click here .

Red Skelton's tips on marriage Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage,  good food and companionship.  She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. We also sleep in separate beds.  Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary?  "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.  So I suggested the kitchen. We always hold hands.  If I let go, she shops. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.  She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"  So I bought her an electric chair. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.  I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake." She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.  Then the mud fell off. She ran after the garbage truck,...

Splinters in her Crotch A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA.  There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then...