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Showing posts from August, 2012

Pictures - getting older jokes

The Importance of walking Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $4,000 per month.       My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no idea where the hell he is. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.   The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing...    I joined a health club last year, spent about 250 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there! Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.    I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll ...

What Southerners know

Suthunuhs! Southerners know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity   Southerners know their vacation spots:   The beach The rivuh The crick Southerners know everybody's first name: Honey Darlin' Shugah Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind   Southerners know their religions:   Bapdiss Methdiss Kathlik Football   Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'stn   S'vanah Foat Wuth N'awlins Addlanna Looville Southerners know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler Colonel Sanders   Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon   Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails Having bad manners Cooking bad food   Only   a Southerner knows the difference between a   hissie fit and a   connip...

Photos that restore your faith in humanity

  ( I believe this young lady appreciates the gift of that man's shoes) A father and mother kissing their dying little girl goodbye .  If you are wondering why all the medical people are bowing: in less than an hour, two small children in the   next room are able to live thanks to the little girl's kidney and liver.

Famous presidential quotes

Chick-fil-A - now cleaner and more drug free