13 Things I Learned Watching The Descendants with George Clooney

Not all people in Hawaii live a perfect life.
At least one woman exists who would cheat on George Clooney.
Parents should give their children enough money to do something but not so much that they do nothing.
Paying 35k per year for a private, boarding school won't ensure that your daughter stays sober.
Teen aged girls are more civil to be around when their idiot boyfriend is around.
Old people will cold cock you at a moment's notice.
Some people would like retarded and old people to move faster.
Beech boobs can be created by stuffing your bikini top.
It is important to tell the dude that was shagging your wife behind your back that she is going to die.
Porn movies are also known as masturbation movies.
When your daughters use profanity around their parents, it is a sign of disrespecting authority.
When your daughter's friend tells you his father died, don't say you're sorry or anything. Just give him a look as if you don't care.
George Clooney can put up a mediocre performance and win the Best Actor.

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Male logic joke

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