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Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.  The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!' 'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.  Are you ready for this? Brace yourself; this is going to hurt  ! ! !  ! !   !   'WE HAVEN'T EVEN  SWEPT TOGETHER !'   Oh for goodness sake... Laugh, or at least groan. Life's too short not to enjoy...   Sounds to me like she's .......been....sweeping around!!!

Now click here to read this 21 reasons why the English language is so difficult. .

I hate housework! You make the beds, do the dishes, and six months later you have to do it all over again!! I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that's not gonna happen!" The only thing domestic about me is that I live indoors! Click here for more Maxine .

A TOUCHING CHRISTMAS STORY A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed.   Walking through the mall the surprised wife look up and noticed her  husband was no where around and she was very upset because they had a lot to do.   She used her cell phone to call her husband because she was so upset, to ask him where he was.   The husband in a calm voice said, "honey remember the jewelry store we went into  5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we  could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day."   His wife said crying, "yes, I remember that jewelry store."   He said, "well I'm in the bar next to it."

A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the   United  States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and  says, 'Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country , giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!' The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.' The man goes on and encounters another passerby. ' Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America !' The person says,  'I not American, I Vietnamese.' The new arrival walks further, and  the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank  you for the wonderful America!' That person puts up his hand and  says, 'I am from Middle East , I am not American!' He finally sees a  nice lady and asks, 'Are you an American?'  She says, 'No, I am from  Africa !' Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Americans?' The  African lady checks her watch and says...'Pro...

Memory - was something you lost with age   An application - was for employment  A program - was a TV show  A cursor - used profanity   A keyboard - was a piano  A web - was a spider's home  A virus - was the flu  A CD - was a bank account   A hard drive - was a long trip on the road  A mouse pad - was where a mouse lived   And if you had a 3 inch floppy . 

The Mexican Fisherman Author Unknown The American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.  Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.  The Mexican replied, "Only a little while."  The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?"  The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs."  The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"  The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."  ...

This story was first told on the Tonight show Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize! She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a po...

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit  by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.  "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems  there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these  parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the man. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do  is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can  choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the  senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes  down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the  middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and  standing in front of it are ...

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For  example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen.  Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also  called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful  consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has  settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin ,  Mydixadrupin , Mydixarizin , Dixafix , and of course, Ibepokin .   Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid  form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as  a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff  one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning  to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fas...

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Upon arriving at heaven the lawyer protested it was to early for him to die, because he was only 32 years old and there must be some mistake. The angel listened and agreed that perhaps there was some mistake and promised to scrutinize the allegation. After a while the angel replied and said “I’m sorry sir but I am afraid there was no mistake.’ “We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96 years old.” Share this here:

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