Beanie Books

  Excerpts from a Dog's Diary 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an at...

With the advent of World War II many of the actors went to fight. They gave up their wealth, position and fame to become service men & women, many as simple 'enlisted men'.       This page lists but a few, but from this group of only 18 men came over 70 medals in honour of their valour, spanning from Bronze Stars, Silver Stars, Distinguished Service Cross, Purple Hearts and one Congressional Medal of Honour.     So while the 'Entertainers of 21st Century' have been in the news media lately, for all the wrong reasons;  I would like to remind you of what the entertainers of 1943 were doing, (70+ years ago). Most of these brave men have since passed on.    'Real Hollywood Heroes'   Alec Guinness (Star Wars) operated a British Royal Navy landing craft on D-Day.   James Doohan ('Scotty' on Star Trek) landed in Normandy with the U.S. Army on D-Day.   Donald Pleasance (The Great Escape) really was an R.A.F. pilo...

Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and  treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to  neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him  for another. He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was always kind,  considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he  could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult  times. The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great  contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not  love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice  of her! One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of  his luxurious life and wondered, I now have four wives with me, bu...

YOUR HOUSE PLANTS ARE ALIVE, AND YOU CAN'T SMOKE ANY OF THEM. HAVING SEX IN A TWIN BED IS OUT OF THE QUESTION. YOU KEEP MORE FOOD THAN BEER IN THE FRIDGE. 6:00 AM IS WHEN YOU GET UP, NOT WHEN YOU GO TO BED. YOU HEAR YOUR FAVORITE SONG IN AN ELEVATOR. YOU WATCH THE WEATHER CHANNEL. YOUR FRIENDS MARRY AND DIVORCE INSTEAD OF "HOOKUP" AND "BREAKUP". YOU GO FROM 130 DAYS OF VACATION TIME TO 14. JEANS AND A SWEATER NO LONGER QUALIFY AS DRESSED UP. YOU'RE THE ONE CALLING THE POLICE BECAUSE THOSE &@#! KIDS NEXT DOOR WON'T TURN DOWN THE STEREO. OLDER RELATIVES FEEL COMFORTABLE TELLING SEX JOKES AROUND YOU. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TIME TACO BELL CLOSES ANYMORE. YOUR CAR INSURANCE GOES DOWN AND YOUR CAR PAYMENTS GO UP. YOU FEED YOUR DOG SCIENCE DIET INSTEAD OF MCDONALD'S LEFTOVERS. SLEEPING ON THE COUCH MAKES YOUR BACK HURT. YOU TAKE NAPS. DINNER AND A MOVIE IS THE WHOLE DATE INSTEAD OF THE BEGINNING OF ONE. EATING A BASKET OF CHICK...

Be careful out there, that sunshine grows them big!!!! THIS IS WHAT YOU MAY FIND IN THE AREA BEHIND THE ST. AUGUSTINE OUTLETS THAT ARE ON THE EAST SIDE OF I-95. NO JOKE! Found on a golf course in Florida . This is why you shouldn't go looking for the golf balls hit 'Out of Bounds' in Florida !!! THIS IS NOT A PYTHON! This is a 15 foot Eastern Diamondback rattlesnake - the largest ever caught on record. This snake was found Near the St. Augustine outlet, in a new KB homes subdivision just south of Jacksonville FL. A little research revealed the following: One bite from a snake of this size would contain enough venom to kill over 40 full grown men. The head of this snake alone is larger than the hand of a normal sized man. A bite from those fangs would be comparable to being stabbed by two curved, 1/4 inch diameter screwdrivers. The knife being used to draw o...