Beanie Books

One day a  farmer's donkey fell down into a   well. The  animal cried piteously for hours as   the farmer  tried to figure out what to do.   Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the   well needed to be covered up anyway;   it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the  donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and   help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began   to shovel  dirt into the well. At first, the   donkey realized what was happening and cried   horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he   quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally   looked down  the well. He was astonished at  what    he saw.  With each shovel of dirt that hit his   back , the  donkey was doing something  amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the  farmer's neighbors continued to shovel   dirt on top  of the animal, he would shake it ...

Yep, it's that time of year again for us to take our annual brain test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older,  it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Here is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to your last test. Some may think it is too easy, but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take this test to determine if you're losing it or not.  The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin. #1. What do you put in a toaster? Answer:  'bread.' If you said 'toast', just give up now and go do something else. And, try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question #2. # 2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink? Answer:  Cows drink water.  If you said 'milk,' don't a...

*This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:*   A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."   A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.  The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"   He replied, "They had eggs."

Kill'em and Eat'em This came from a gent who runs a 2,000-acre corn farm up around Barron, WI, not far from Oshkosh. He used to fly F-4Es and F-16s for the Guard and participated in the first Gulf War. His story: I went out to plant corn for a bit, to finish a field before tomorrow morning and witnessed The Great Battle. A golden eagle -- big, with about a six-foot wingspan - flew right in front of the tractor. It was being chased by three crows that were continually dive bombing it and pecking at it. The crows do this because the eagles rob their nests when they find them. At any rate, the eagle banked hard right in one evasive maneuver, then landed in the field about 100 feet from the tractor. This eagle stood about 3 feet tall. The crows all landed too and took up positions around the eagle at 120 degrees apart, but kept their distance at about 20 feet from the big bird. The eagle would take a cou...

Two guys, Mel & Earl, are quietly sitting in a boat at the local fishing lake fishing and drinking beer.        Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish Mel says, "I think  I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months."    Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says,  "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."

When the man at the auto repair shop told me that it would cost $2,500 to fix my car's air conditioning, I just laughed at him and said, "I can fix it myself for a whole lot less than that!"             MY MOMMA DIDN'T RAISE NO FOOL !!!!!!! Click here for another redneck picture .