Jokes about getting older

 GETTING OLDER  
 
A distraught senior citizen phoned her
doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know, “that the 
"medication you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before 
the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.."  
 
~~~~~~~~~~

An older gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,

a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he

asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just
remember, if it doesn't go well, if something

happens to me, your mother is going to come

and live with you and your wife...."  
(I LOVE IT!)  
~~~~~~~~~~  
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

This is so true. I love to hear them say "you don't look that old."  
 ~~~~~~~~~~ 
The older we get, the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for. 
 ~~~~~~~~~~  
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know why I look this way.
I've travelled a long way and some of the

roads weren't paved.  
 ~~~~~~~~~~  
 When you are dissatisfied 
and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.  
 ~~~~~~~~~~ 
One of the many things 
no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change
from being young.
~~~~~~~~~~  
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.  
~~~~~~~~~~  
First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper...
it's worse when
you forget to pull it down.  
~~~~~~~~~~  
Two guys, one old, one young,
are pushing their carts around-  Wal-Mart  
when they collide. 
The old guy says to the young guy,
"Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where

I was going."  
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too...
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her...
what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall,
with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra,
long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the old guy says, doesn't matter,  
let's look for yours."  
(ADORABLE)  
~~~~~~~~~~  
(And this final one especially for me,)"Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder  
and Your hand over my mouth!"  
 

Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . ..

stick around awhile . . .it will!