Beanie Books

40 years Of marriage..  A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic Little restaurant.   Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married Couple and for being loving to each other for All this time, I will grant you each a wish.' The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world With my darling husband.'   The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two Tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her Hands. The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an Opportunity like this will never come again. I'm Sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 Years younger than me.'   The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, But a wish is a wish. !  So the fairy waved her magic wand and Poof!...   The husband became 92 years old. The moral of this story:  Men who are ungrateful jerks should Remembe

NEVER SAY TO A COP I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas )  Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my  radar detector  wasn't plugged in.  Aren't you the guy from the Village People?   Hey, you must have been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!  Are You Andy or Barney?  I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.  You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?  I pay your salary!  Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave ! me a warning, too!  Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.  I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.  When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" 

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:   Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.   Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.   Live simply and appreciate what you have.   Give more.   Expect less .   ...and for more wisdom, click here .

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!   1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

10 Things That Will Disappear In Our Lifetime . This is USA oriented, but Canada & the rest will not be far  behind.  Whether these changes are good or bad depends in part on how we adapt to them.  But, ready or not, here they come. 1.  The Post Office Get  ready to imagine a world without the post office. They are so deeply  in financial trouble that there is probably no way to sustain it  long term. Email, Fed Ex, and UPS have just about wiped out the  minimum revenue needed to keep the post office alive. Most of your  mail every day is junk mail and  bills. 2.  The Check Britain  is already laying the groundwork to do away with check by  2018.  It costs the financial system billions of dollars a year  to process checks.  Plastic cards and online transactions will  lead to the eventual demise of the check.  This plays right  into the death of the post office.  If you never paid your  bills by mail and never received them by ma

Why , Why , Why Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?     _____   Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?   _____  Why does someone Believe  when  you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?     _____  Why doesn't   Tarzan   have a beard?     _____  Why does   Superman   stop bullets with his chest , but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?     _____  Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?     _____  Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?     _____  If people evolved from apes, Why are there still apes?     _____    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?      _____    Is there ever a day that mattresses Are not on sale?            _____    Why do people constantly return to the