Skip to main content

God recall - religious humor



The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.  

This defect has been identified as "Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs in all areas is:
P-R-A-Y-E-R
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the Next, download REPENTANCE procedure.
ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

1. Love
2. Joy
3 Peace
4.Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Best Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER:
The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace.
The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention!
GOD

P.S. PLEASE ASSIST WHERE  POSSIBLE BY NOTIFYING OTHERS OF THIS IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE, AND YOU MAY CONTACT THE FATHER ANYTIME BY 'KNEE MAIL'!

Because HE Lives!
Working for God on earth doesn't pay much......
But His retirement plan is out of this world!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Male logic joke

*This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:*   A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."   A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.  The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"   He replied, "They had eggs."

Earth's wobble causes global warming

EARTH’S WOBBLE CAUSES GLOBAL WARNING, NOT CO2 EMISSIONS OR OCEAN CURRENTS, PER TEAM HEADED BY OSU RESEARCHER Digital Journal, “Debate Ends on Central Cause of Earth’s Cooling & Warming,” 8 Aug 2009; Space Daily, “Ice Ages Linked to Slight Shifts in Solar Radiation,” 24 Aug 2009; The Kiplinger Letter, “Climate Change Legislation, What it Means to Business,” 18 Aug 2009. As the carbon dioxide management bill - aka cap and trade - looms in Congress, a new study from Oregon State University emerges that ends the scientific debate on the central causes of ice ages and warming periods on Earth. Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore is fond of saying that the scientific debate on global warming is over - and while he may now be correct in the fact that a debate has come to an end, the central cause behind climate change does not support the carbon cap legislation that is being cobbled together by Mr. Gore and his Democratic allies in the U.S. Congress. The ear...

Four deer pulled from the icy waters of Stephens Passage, Alaska

Weirdest Day Of Fishing Ever!   ...