Pictures - getting older jokes

The Importance of walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $4,000 per month.

My grandpa started walking

five miles a day when he was 60.

Now he's 97 years old

and we have no idea where the hell he is.

I like long walks,

especially when they are taken

by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking

is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,

before my brain figures out what I'm doing...

I joined a health club last year,

spent about 250 bucks.

Haven't lost a pound.

Apparently you have to go there!

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',

I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs,

but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day

is so when you die, they'll say,

'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,

start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise

the last few years,......

just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,

because there's a lot more information in our heads.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much

about how I look,

I just find a pub with a Happy Hour

and by the time I leave,

I look just fine.

If you loved these, click here for more of the same.

Comments

Male logic joke

*This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:* A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6." A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had eggs."

Earth's wobble causes global warming

EARTH’S WOBBLE CAUSES GLOBAL WARNING, NOT CO2 EMISSIONS OR OCEAN CURRENTS, PER TEAM HEADED BY OSU RESEARCHER Digital Journal, “Debate Ends on Central Cause of Earth’s Cooling & Warming,” 8 Aug 2009; Space Daily, “Ice Ages Linked to Slight Shifts in Solar Radiation,” 24 Aug 2009; The Kiplinger Letter, “Climate Change Legislation, What it Means to Business,” 18 Aug 2009. As the carbon dioxide management bill - aka cap and trade - looms in Congress, a new study from Oregon State University emerges that ends the scientific debate on the central causes of ice ages and warming periods on Earth. Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore is fond of saying that the scientific debate on global warming is over - and while he may now be correct in the fact that a debate has come to an end, the central cause behind climate change does not support the carbon cap legislation that is being cobbled together by Mr. Gore and his Democratic allies in the U.S. Congress. The ear

Four deer pulled from the icy waters of Stephens Passage, Alaska

Weirdest Day Of Fishing Ever!

Beanie Books

Search This Blog