Skip to main content

21 reasons why the English language is so hard to learn

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used  to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.


English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.


And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth,
why isn't the plural of booth beeth?


One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?


If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get
rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,  what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the human race,
which, of course, is not a race at all. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Male logic joke

*This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:*   A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."   A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.  The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"   He replied, "They had eggs."

Earth's wobble causes global warming

EARTH’S WOBBLE CAUSES GLOBAL WARNING, NOT CO2 EMISSIONS OR OCEAN CURRENTS, PER TEAM HEADED BY OSU RESEARCHER Digital Journal, “Debate Ends on Central Cause of Earth’s Cooling & Warming,” 8 Aug 2009; Space Daily, “Ice Ages Linked to Slight Shifts in Solar Radiation,” 24 Aug 2009; The Kiplinger Letter, “Climate Change Legislation, What it Means to Business,” 18 Aug 2009. As the carbon dioxide management bill - aka cap and trade - looms in Congress, a new study from Oregon State University emerges that ends the scientific debate on the central causes of ice ages and warming periods on Earth. Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore is fond of saying that the scientific debate on global warming is over - and while he may now be correct in the fact that a debate has come to an end, the central cause behind climate change does not support the carbon cap legislation that is being cobbled together by Mr. Gore and his Democratic allies in the U.S. Congress. The ear

Four deer pulled from the icy waters of Stephens Passage, Alaska

Weirdest Day Of Fishing Ever!