Beanie Books

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For  example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen.  Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also  called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful  consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has  settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin ,  Mydixadrupin , Mydixarizin , Dixafix , and of course, Ibepokin .   Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid  form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as  a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff  one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning  to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff  drink". P

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Sometimes we just need to be reminded!  A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.  He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circums

 Q: What is the shortest chapter in the Bible?   A: Psalms 117   Q: What is the longest chapter in the Bible?   A: Psalms 119   Q: Which chapter is in the center of the Bible?   A: Psalms 118   Fact: There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118   Fact: There are 594 chapters after Psalms 118   Add these numbers up and you get 1188.   Q: What is the center verse in the Bible?   A: Psalms 118:8  Q: Does this verse say something significant about God's perfect will for our lives?   The next time someone says they would like to find  God's perfect will for their lives and that they want to  be in the center of His will, just send them to the  center of His Word!   Psalms 118:8   "It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man."   Now isn't that odd how this worked out (or was God in the center of it)?   "Father God bless my friend in whatever it is that

NBA OR NFL?   36  have  been accused of spousal abuse 7  have  been arrested for fraud 19 have  been accused of writing bad checks   117  have  directly or indirectly bankrupted at  least 2 businesses   3  have  done time for assault 71,  repeat  71  cannot get  a  credit card due to bad credit 14  have  been arrested on drug-related charges           8  have  been arrested for shoplifting 21  currently are  defendants in lawsuits, and  84  have  been arrested for drunk driving  in  the  last year         Can  you  guess which organization this is?     Give  up  yet? . . . Scroll down,    Neither,  it's  the 35  members of    the United  States Congress. The  same  group  of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year  designed  to keep the rest of us in line. *I have no idea if this is accurate Share this here:

Upon arriving at heaven the lawyer protested it was to early for him to die, because he was only 32 years old and there must be some mistake. The angel listened and agreed that perhaps there was some mistake and promised to scrutinize the allegation. After a while the angel replied and said “I’m sorry sir but I am afraid there was no mistake.’ “We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96 years old.” Share this here:

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God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over  in his bag and he couldn't quite decide how to split them between  Adam and Eve. He thought he might just as well ask them.  He told them one of the things he had left was a thing that would  allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, and I was wondering if  either one of you had a preference for it." Well, Adam jumped up and  down and begged, "Oh, please, it seems like just the sort of thing a  man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled and told  God that if Adam really wanted it soo badly, he could have it. So God  gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up. Adam was so  excited he just started whizzing all over the place - first on the  side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then to see if  he could hit a stump ten feet away - laughi

The National Highway Safety Council  has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt.   Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.    Correct installation is illustrated below:   Share this here:

Buckeye Fan and the Priest We Ohio State fans amuse ourselves by scaring every Michigan fan we see  strutting  down the street, with that obnoxious maze & blue "M" on their shirt and/or  hat. We would swerve our vehicles as if to hit them, and then swerve back just  missing them. Oh day, while driving along, I saw a priest. I thought I would do a good deed, so I pulled over and asked the priest,  "Where are  you going, Father?" "I'm going to give mass at St. Francis Church, about 2 miles down the road," replied the  priest. "Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift." The priest climbed into the rear passenger seat, and we continued down the  road. Suddenly, I saw a Michigan fan walking down the road, with that "M" shirt  on, and I  instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, I swerved back into the road just in time. Even though I was  certain that  I had missed the guy, I still heard a loud thud.  Not understan

Ouch!   It looks like he'll be fine. He is probably a teenager by now. Share this here:

CDC     WARNING The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu.     If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:  High fever   Congestion   Nausea   Fatigue   Aching in the joints   An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield.     HEY...gotta keep a sense of humor these days......when you stop laughing, you better have your pre-arrangements completed and plot purchased.....so at least  SMILE   !!!!!!!! Share this here:

INSIGHT "Propaganda is persuading people to make up their minds while withholding some of the facts from them." —Harold Evans  "Liberalism isn't a political philosophy. It's a vile combination of sickness and evil." —Rabbi Mayer Schiller  "The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money." —Bernard Meltzer  "Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones." —Phillips Brooks More wisdom is here . ...or share this here: