Beanie Books

  A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small Texas town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to  live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the  first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind. Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly whi

A QA Engineer walks into a bar.  Orders a beer.  Orders 0 beers.  Orders 999999999 beers.  Orders a lizard.  Orders -1 beers.  Orders a sfdeljknesv.

The price of children This is just too good not to pass on to all. Something absolutely positive for a change. I have seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice. The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into: * $8,896.66 a year, * $741.38 a month, or * $171.08 a week. * That's a mere $24.24 a day! * Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice is, "Don't have children if you want to be  rich ." Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140? * Naming rights. First, middle, and last! * Glimpses of God every day.

If we're getting our money's worth, it looks like we should be able to take on the entire world, and win.  Oh yeah...we also have nukes.  Is all of this money wasted if we cannot protect ourselves from a small group half way around the world? 

Marriage changes passion.  Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.  So I said "Implants?" She hit me. How come we choose from just two people to run for   president and over fifty for Miss America ? A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!" I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk." Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !! Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can

My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears so he cleaned   both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month. The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her: "If you're going to use this under your   arms don't use deodorant for a few days." The lady says: "I'm not using it under my arms." The druggist says: "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days." The lady says: "I'm not using it on my legs either; if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer." The druggist says: "Stay off your bicycle for a week.&q

Click here to see beautiful pictures of Petra, Jordan .